So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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