I hate your face
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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