This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
