After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
