OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your mouth is God's brothel.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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