You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
