brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
