so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
