I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
