I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There r osticjed everywhere
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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