listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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