Your dad touched me again.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
