I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The feeling are messing with the penis
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
