He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
