Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
