she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
