There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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