3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
