Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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