Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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