Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize