addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
