Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
