i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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