Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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