have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
