i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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