this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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