Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
