I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
