I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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