Your tits are I can't wait for
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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