He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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