You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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