Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
