you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
