Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
