I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize