Sponge bath it is.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In other news, I just burned my penis
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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