Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize