I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
