You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This is the high leading the old right now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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