She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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