i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
