We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
