I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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