Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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