she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
