we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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