kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
