Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
