At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
