I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
