its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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