I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
