I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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