this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
