Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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