so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
