I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
