Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
