maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
