wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I lost the right to judge tonight
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