Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
