32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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