I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
