when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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