thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
