Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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