I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
